Like I said, always moving on . . .

Hi all (if there is, indeed, an “all” out there subscribing to this blog) ~ just wanted to let you know that I have migrated this blog to it’s own domain at:

http://belief3ninesfine.com

Come join me there, if you’ve a mind ~ I’ll be happy to see you! and if there’s anyone who knows anything about how to put an “email subscribe” widget or plugin or whatever you call it on a wordpress blog on your own domain, give us a shout, what do you say?

SEE  you on the other side ~ 

BOOM BABY!

It’s always something . . . .

Remember Roseanne Roseannadanna? She was one of Gilda Radner’s characters on the original Saturday Night Live. No matter what her story was about on “Weekend Update” ~ and it was usually some long rambling story about one thing that ended up being about something entirely unrelated ~ like coming out of the ladies room at a fancy restaurant, completely unaware of the runner of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

And it always ended with “It just goes to show you, it’s always somthin’.”

Ain’t it the truth.

I’ve had a bit of a rough week since last Monday. Technically, it started before that, but whatever. The 1st was my birthday, and I wasn’t exactly jazzed. I wrote about that last time, I think ~  Well, the week didn’t get a lot better.

The problem with these “b-logs” is that they aren’t really personal, and they’re certainly not private, and once they’re posted, they’re out there for someone to find somewhere, forever. So, unless you’re completely oblivious of that fact, you don’t want to say just anything that pops into your head. And when you keep a blog like this ~ about believing in yourself and creating your own life and reality and destiny ~ you want to be encouraging and uplifting and believing, if you see what I mean.

Trouble is, most people don’t feel that way 100% of the time. So, while I wrestle with myself about my attitude and avoid posting to this blog because I’m not feeling very bright and believing, at the same time, I wonder if it’s fair to let people think that I don’t ever or even often have trouble believing and acting in that belief.

Not that I think people are reading this blog in droves ~ hardly. But I think those who are reading a blog entitled Believing is Seeing deserve to read content that’s uplifting rather than something that bums them out.

But I realize that maybe there are others out there, like me, who feel inadequate or like they’re deficient because sometimes they can’t keep the positive attitude going. Sometimes, no matter how hard they try and how earnestly they put into practice the things they’re learning about creating their own reality and living the life they want to live, sometimes they get discouraged and down on themselves and everything they’ve ever tried to do, because it’s just not working the way the positive-outlook-affirmations-and-belief-will-lead-you-to-the-life-you-want gurus say it does.

And I think, maybe some of those gurus should be telling about their own mistakes and difficulties and failures ~ about their own sojourns into the darkness, and about the weeks, months, or years it took them to finally succeed in achieving the life of riches and enlightenment and confidence they now enjoy and enjoin others to pursue.

The only guru I know who does that routinely is Joe Vitale ~ and you know, it’s funny, but the first time I saw The Secret, he wasn’t the one I thought would be most inspiring.

But I digress. Big surprise, right? You’re shocked, I can tell. Sorry about that.

Anyway, I was talking about how things really work, and how for many of us a positive attitude is not always sustainable. We have our valleys of the shadow, our storms to batten down and weather. And maybe this kind of blog is exactly the place to talk about those things, too.

In any case, like Larry Winget says, this is my blog, so if you don’t like what you see here, go write your own.

Thing is, in writing this post about saying in public that you’re having a bad week or month or year, when your original intent was to encourage and lift up and support people in the pursuit of their own belief and happiness, I find that I no longer feel the need to vent all that stuff all over the place. Maybe that was the point.

I’ve been having a bad week or so ~ I had a really bad day yesterday and I’m still feeling the effects today. It’s been a rough year, one way and another, and of late, several not so positive things have piled one on top of the other. It happens like that, sometimes. People have said and done things that hurt me or someone I love, and there was nothing I could do about it. I have tried and failed at several things, and I am nowhere near where I wanted to be ~ where I expected to be ~ by this time in my life.

Yesterday, the accumulation of stuff just came crashing down on me, and I couldn’t hold up under it anymore. I wrote a long rambling email (which I didn’t send) to a friend of mine, venting all this frustration.  Then I shut off my computer, ate the supper my husband had been kind enough to cook for me, went upstairs and sat on my bed and watched dvds until it was time to go to bed. Thermonuclear meltdown. And that was the second time this week.

So what. It happens.

I’m still feeling the effects of it today, but I’m climbing back on the horse, anyway. It might just be a pony today, or maybe just a rocking horse, but that’s okay, too. When I’m feeling more confident, more secure, more whatever, I’ll trade up.

And in the meantime, I’ll try to remember The Four Agreements ~ especially the ones that say “Don’t take anything personally” and “Don’t make assumptions” because most of the time the things people say and do ~ even when they’re insensitive or selfish or malicious ~ have nothing to do with you, but are a projection of their own “dream” or what they’re going through.

That doesn’t make it okay for people to behave that way to other people ~ but it does help put it in perspective for you, and changing your perspective about things is the first step toward changing the thing itself.

As for the things I try to do that don’t work or that work once but then ~ nothing, or the times when technology baffles and defeats me ~ particularly technology that I thought I had a handle on ~ I’ll try to remember Roseanne Rosannadanna’s philosophy.

It just goes to show you: it’s always somethin’.

By the way: Gilda Radner ~ if you don’t know her, check out some of her work on the old SNL or read her memoir It’s Always Something (she got that expression from her dad, if I remember correctly). She was fabulously funny, bright, and endearing ~ and she passed from this life much too young.

But while she was here, she went for what she wanted, loved at least one man ~ Gene Wilder ~ very deeply, and gave a lot of people a lot of laughs before she had to go. As legacies go, that’s not such a bad one to leave.

dreaming time

It’s my birthday today, and I’ve been feeling a bit blue for a couple of days. It’s funny how we look forward to birthdays, and how long the year is between, until we reach a certain age (which we thought when we were young that we would never be that old in the first place).

It doesn’t matter what age ~ I expect it’s different for everyone ~ but at that point, you realize that you’re not looking forward to what you’ll do when that birthday comes but back at what you haven’t done, and the years between those annual reflections get shorter and shorter as you go.

Now, I’m a big proponent of working in concert with the vibrations of the universe, putting out the positive vibe you want to live in, because what you send out is what comes back to you, magnified. It took me a long time to learn that, and I’m still internalizing it, I think. Any of you who’ve read this blog before know that there are still deep wells into which I trip and fall now and then. What’s changing, I hope, is that it takes me less time to bob back up to the top. It seems so, anyway.

And I think, maybe that has a lot to do with the good fortune I’ve had, in recent years, to be able to surround myself with so many like-minded people, people who look forward and up and out ~ and point me the way when I forget to do the same.

That happened again just a few moments ago, thanks to some of my dearest friends. Don’t get me wrong ~ I’ve been getting well wishes all day (facebook is a wonderful thing for people who wouldn’t otherwise remember birthdays) from family and friends, all people I love ~ and many who don’t have facebook or only remember just because it’s on their page.

But the gifts I’ve been given, both physical and virtual, were all topped by this one just a few moments ago ~ not because it was any more well-meant than the others, or because the sender cares any more for me than many of the others, but just because of my reaction to it, the way it resonated with me. Here’s what she said:

“Here’s the thing about birthdays.  It’s your own personal New Year.  It’s the day when you have the ear of the universe.  So make it known what you want.  Journal, dream, and bring in all the good things you want in your life for next year.  This is your day to make that plan.  I hate resolutions, don’t make resolutions.  Don’t even set goals unless you want to.  But think about what you want and dream it in.”

What a fabulous and inspiring and extraordinary idea. To (as someone else once put it) shine shine shine sit real still.

So that’s what I’m going to do for the next few hours ~ contemplate all the good things I want in my life this coming year ~ and dream them in.

We can but believe . . . and that is enough.
‘becca

Always Moving On . . . . (Dr. Who)

I posted my last article/blog post to the Green Jobs Ready blog on Friday, July 23, 2010 : http://greenjobsready.com/blog/alternative-energy-living/of-the-people-by-the-people-and-for-the-people-our-green-future/

I’ll miss writing for that blog regularly, because environmental responsibility and preserving the earth for our children and grandchildren is a subject about which I have always been passionate ~ a bit of the left over hippie in me, as my kid sister says. More the earth-mother thing, I’m thinking, but if hippie it is ~ ah, well. So be it. But I still reserve the  right to shower daily 😉

Still, like the doctor (“my” doctor is the 9th, though I enjoyed the 10th, too), one must be always moving on, and whenever possible, moving forward. That’s definitely the direction I’m tacking toward. The future I envision is green with clean fields and forests, blue with fresh waters and salt seas teaming with life, rosy with good health for everyone everywhere, and it is serene, peaceful, and loving ~ with prosperity, peace, and love for everyone. Okay, maybe the hippie thing is an appropriate designation.  Well, there y’go. But that’s the one I’m setting my course for ~

Pardon me while I catch the wind in my sails ~

‘becca

Is it just me?

Or is writing for the web (or anything else with the “the web” suffix) a  huge sucking black hole of time? I’ve taken to sitting out on the porch in the early morning to work ~ the weather is usually nice (it’s July) at this hour and I can use the fresh air to wake me up.

But outside or in, the trouble remains the same ~ all these diverting little side trails! you go to search for something, or just to find something on your desktop, and the next thing you know, you’re reading old forum posts on how to get and stay organized (that was the one I got to that struck me funny this morning!)

It started this morning with updates to my browser plugins, fer goshsakes! I should just skip them, but then I’m paranoid enough

Guess who I write like (go on, guess . . . I’ll bet you get it right!)

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I just happened upon this really cool site, this evening, and I used the first four paragraphs of my last post here (which I didn’t think were too horror-rific! ;-)) as text for the software to analyze, and guess what ~ I write like Stephen King! Color me surprised! (and delighted, actually ~ no higher praise could I receive ~ seriously)

Give it a try ~ it’s a hoot! And have a most excellent day!
‘becca

You’ve got to ACcentuate the Positive

Morning Song: You know how you wake up in the morning with a song playing in your head . . . and then it just goes on and on (and on and on, whether you want it to or not) singing in the recesses of your mind for hours or maybe even days?

Into Dust
Well, that’s the way it happens for me, most of the time. Sometimes, like yesterday, it’s not a good thing. I woke up from a horrendous nightmare and as I was making the bed I realized that the song playing in my head was “Into Dust” by Mazzy Star ~ excellent song, and I like it very much (else it wouldn’t be in the jukebox of my mind), but not the kind of song you want to start out your day with.

Usually, I can trace the song to something going on in the waking world, or the dreaming one, like yesterday. I had a nightmare

Fireflies flicker on the lawn

Is there anything that brings back your youth more than seeing fireflies ~ or as we in the midwest call them, lightning bugs ~ flickering in the dusk and shadows of a summer evening?

Remember chasing and catching lightning bugs and putting them in a mayonnaise jar with a twig and a handful of grass and holes poked in the lid for air?

Can’t you just smell/touch/taste the humid stillness of that eternal hour in the twilight, running through the feather soft grass of gloaming, chasing to catch but not crush, tiny gentle tips of flickering gold lightning beckoning just there, and there, and there . . . .

You are a child of the universe

from DESIDERATA

by Max Ehrmann (http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm)

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

. . . .

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Understand that you are beautiful _now_

I just finished watching the new Star Trek movie, and I felt again, as I did when I saw it in the theater, that same sense of bittersweet nostalgia, near tears because it is so well done, so believable that a part of me thinks: it’s all ahead of them, it’s all yet to come ~ for them. Not for me.

It’s silly I suppose, as most days I’m not that old. Most days I’m not any age at all,